"Growing up in Arkansas has really been a blessing. I've always had so much to be thankful for. My family is wonderful and I couldn't ask for better parents. So many things have been given to me but most of my life I've taken those things for granted. Being raised in a good Christian home, I have gone to church most of my life. But just because I went to church doesn't mean I went for the right reasons. In my eyes, being a Christian was just going to church because your parents made you and singing some songs hear and there. As I started getting older I began to make new friends. Being at a new school, people would always tell me that I had the "perfect" life. I did well in school, played sports, my family was all together, and I really didn't have much to worry about. I saw so many people going through stuff that didn't ever happen in my life. I had everything I could ever want but just because it looked like everything was perfect on the outside doesn't mean I had it all together on the inside. One thing I struggled with when I became a teenager was feeling like I wasn't good enough for my parents, friends, and just people who supported me. I always kept that balled up on the inside. I can tell you that keeping things like that to yourself only makes it worse. I remember some nights I would just break down and be so upset. I'd always question if I was good enough for others and for those people that loved me. You couldn't tell from the outside but when I was alone I had my insecurities. I wanted people to like me and I was living for their acceptance. Sports were my life and that is what I focused on, God. I was blessed with talent to play most sports and I loved every minute of it. Making sports my number one priority made it hard for me to make God a priority. I never "had time" to talk to God and build a relationship with Him. Of course, thats what I thought. My Freshman year of high school went well but as time passed to the beginning of my Sophomore year, I started to change. I didn't drink or smoke. That was one thing that was different about me. Almost everyone I knew did those things. Sometimes I felt left out though. I didn't want any part of that but what was I going to do? I was the "good" kid. Feeling confused about who I was as a person, I started using people. I became disrespectful to most of the people around me, especially girls. Cussing became a hobby. I used people and treated them like they were worthless. Looking back now, I think of how big of a jerk I was and how sorry I am to all the people I did wrong. Going into my Junior year, I just became worse as a person. I started drinking a lot over the summer which was the first time I ever had in my life. I wasn't treating people the right way and it started to rub off on my relationship with my family. I partied every weekend for 2 or 3 months. It was ridiculous. Continually lying to my parents didn't do me any good. They had always been so great to me and supportive in every way. It upsets me to think how bad I treated people who loved me so much. On New Years of 2011, I told myself I was drinking for the last time. Beginning in 2012 I started to attend church every Sunday. I read my Bible often and really wanted to build my relationship with God. It was for the next 3 months that I stayed on the right track with God. It was awesome and things really started to fall into place. Basketball was going great, I many friends, and a great girl in my life. Spring break came around and everything changed. I became a whole different person on that vacation. I started drinking again and made decisions that I knew weren’t right. I was ashamed of myself more than I had ever been. Not only had I let down some amazing people in my life, but I had let down God. I had not done the right thing as a Christian. I was a fake. It was in the these next few months that my life changed forever. I ended up hurting my back lifting weights for football. What I thought was only minor became major. At this time it was towards the end of my Junior year and Summer was about to begin. I was an emotional wreck. I had lost all faith in myself. I was embarrassed of who I had become as a person. After weeks of being depressed and crying, I got the worst news. The injury to my back was a big deal. I needed surgery. This just absolutely crushed me. My relationship with God wasn't good and I could possibly lose the most important part of my life, sports. At this point in my life, I was fortunate enough to be a candidate for the Naval Academy. I planned to play football for Navy and then chase my dream of becoming a Navy Seal. That had been my goal in life since I was 13, it was MY plan. But in the blink of an eye, all this was taken away from me. It was around the middle of summer and I felt like I had lost everything. I was broken. I asked God, Why? Why have you done this to me? No football. No basketball. No Navy. God had crushed my plans and I felt like I had nothing left. This is when it really hit me and I came to a realization of everything that had happened in this past year. One night in my bedroom I just got on my knees and cried out to God. I told Him that I accept Jesus as my Lord and personal Savior. This will always be the greatest moment of my life. I decided to trust God’s plan for me, and not my plan for myself. God heard my prayer and now I'm doing my best to live for Him everyday. I had so many blessings in my life but I had ALWAYS taken them for granted. I thought my life was about me. I was the one controlling it, I had always felt invincible. Honestly, I was wrong. God is the one in control of my life. He is writing my story and I must allow him to do that. For over a year these little things that were happening to me were just God trying to get my attention. For so long I thought I had it all figured out. I had been rejecting God and the relationship that He so badly wanted with me. This back surgery has been my turning point. From then on I have really changed my ways. Jesus has become the center of my life and I plan to keep it that way, it’s not about me. I'm not perfect and I make mistakes. Thats why I need a savior like Jesus. To be a Christian may not always be the popular thing but God has become so real to me that I have realized it is well worth it. His Love is Unconditional and His Grace overflows my life and your life everyday. This whole situation has definitely changed my perspective on life and the way I treat people. Today, my relationship with Jesus is the most important thing to me. I believe that God has a plan for everything that He has put me through. I am currently leading a Tuesday morning Bible study with other seniors at my High School and a school wide Bible study once a week during lunch. I want to be the best role model for the people around me. God has blessed me with a platform to draw people closer to Jesus. That’s what I intend to do. Soon after my surgery, one of my friends told me to read Jeremiah 29:11. “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper and not to harm you, to give you hope a future.” Every day I remind myself of this. I may not know what the future holds or even where I’m going to college, but I know that God holds my future. I would never want to change what has happened in my life. I would rather have had all these things happen then go back to who I was. All this experience has helped shape me to be a better person and strengthen my faith. Getting to know God has helped me get to know myself more than I ever have. Learning more about Him is a daily thing but I love it. For so long I tried so hard to be satisfied through things that were only temporary, but then I realized that my relationship with Jesus is forever. This is not my story, this is God’s story."
Age: 18 years old
Attends: Coastal Carolina University
From: Little Rock, Arkansas
Messages From Beezy
"Inspiring others to believe!"